A Steaming Pile of Spin: October 2005

Yay! More Celebrity Hipocricy

The media have had a field day with the Madonna's latest transformation from unbathed singing sperm bank to self rightious kabala preaching holier than thou movie-ruin-erd. Long ago, it become a staple of gossip columns to giggle over the contrast between the sassy young Madonna and the prim children's author.
Madonna, who's now 47, sees no contradiction whatsoever.
"Obviously, my tastes and my priorities have changed," she says. "But I am still asking the question 'Why?' Just because I'm a mother doesn't mean I'm not still a rebel and that I don't want to go in the face of convention and challenge the system. I never wanted to think in a robotic way, and I don't want my children to think that way, either. I think parents should be constantly questioning society."
Some critics, however, assert that Madonna is being reactionary, or even (gasp!) conservative, in her oft-stated refusal to let her kids (Lourdes, 9, and Rocco, 5) watch TV.
"It's not conservative," she says. "It's actually very punk-rock to not watch TV."
But let Madonna talk long enough about pop-culture excess, and she ends up sounding not wildly dissimilar to Pat Robertson. "It's very surface-oriented and of the moment and disposable," she says. "You have to constantly up the ante. [Celebrities] just have to keep getting more extreme to get attention. It's crap. It's scary. We are obviously creating our own demise."

OK, I'm not even going to go into the change because that is so obvious you can laugh at that without my having to go over it, however I would just like to say this. "Wow, you're old and out of touch Madge!" "It's very Punk Rock???? Punk?!?!?!? Maybe if you take a time machine back to the late 70's. But did you hear Madonna, Sid Vicious is dead and CBGB's lost their lease.
Oh, by the way, People don't dance the Charleston anymore either Grandma.

Wow, what an acting stretch

ABC has given the green light to a comedy pilot to be executive produced by Elton John.
The project, dubbed "Him and Us," revolves around an over-the-hill rock star, his manager and the rest of his colorful entourage. Cindy Chupack, a former executive producer of HBO's "Sex and the City," is writing the script.

An over the hill rock star? How in the world is Elton going to pull that one off?

Matt Le Blanc, Not that theres anything Wrong with it??

Oh Matt,

Before Denying those nasty rumors to the Enquireer, and granting MANY interviews on how you let a stripper give you a lap dance and now feel horrible about it, you should probably get rid of all evidence that you once modeled for a guide telling gay guys where to find hustlers and annonomous pick-up's in other countries. Yeah Yeah Yeah, you were just a model right?

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/99/1034/640/matt-leblanc-spartacus.jpg

I'm gay, 'Star Trek's Sulu says

LOS ANGELES - George Takei, who as helmsman Sulu steered the Starship Enterprise through three television seasons and six movies, has come out as a homosexual in the current issue of Frontiers, a biweekly gay and lesbian Los Angeles magazine.
Takei told The Associated Press yesterday that his new onstage role as psychologist Martin Dysart in "Equus" helped inspire him to publicly discuss his sexuality.
The 68-year-old actor said he and his partner, Brad Altman, have been together for 18 years.
Takei, a Japanese-American who lived in a U.S. internment camp from age 4 to 8, said he grew up feeling ashamed of his ethnicity and sexuality. He likened prejudice against gays to racial segregation.
"It's against basic decency and what American values stand for," he said.
Takei joined the "Star Trek" cast in 1966 as Hikaru Sulu, a character he played for three seasons on television and in six subsequent films. He received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1986.

Ok, isn't this like the 3rd time this guy has come out? What, the Star Trek Autograph signing sessions not paying the bills and had to drum up a little press?

Gee, Maybe she just thinks you're a Jerk

Movie producer-director Lee Daniels - who was hospitalized last week after a heart attack - is apparently feeling well enough to smack around a couple of Oscar-winning actors he has worked with.
"Halle's a lost soul," Daniels lamented to Lowdown at Wednesday's launch party for Damon Dash's Tiret watch collection. Halle Berry, of course, won the Best Actress statuette for the 2001 movie "Monster's Ball," which Daniels produced.
"She's a lost, confused soul," he continued. "I just had a heart attack, and she's the only one who didn't send me a card. Puffy, who was in my movie, and Billy Bob Thornton, did."
Daniels scoffed at the suggestion that Berry hadn't heard about his medical emergency.
"That b- knows," he seethed. "It's Hollywood! It's Blackywood. It's a closed circuit, everybody knows everybody."
Berry's rep replied: "She actually had no idea he had a heart attack. She sends her best and hopes he's feeling better." Daniels added: "I think that the Oscar, for the most part, is the kiss of death, because what really happens after that?"… The only thing that's saving her right now is her looks. And saving him."

Yeah, he sounds like a really warm guy, I'm shocked that Halle hasn't called.

Wow Johnny, I'm sure she's never seen one of those before.

Kate Moss is out of rehab. The supermodel checked out of an Arizona clinic where she has spent a month trying to kick drugs and booze.
"Kate is in excellent spirits and looking forward to getting back to work," a rep for her modeling agency said, adding that she most looked forward to being reunited with her 3-year-old daughter, Lila.
Moss, who lost contracts with H&M, Burberry and Chanel after the London Mirror ran photos of the millionaire model "Hoovering" cocaine, has already landed assignments in L.A., Paris and New York, her reps said.
Among those pulling for her is ex-boyfriend Johnny Depp.
The actor is said to have given her the curious gift of a mirror.
It's not meant as a piece of drug paraphernalia, according to the London Sun. Rather, Depp, who's part Cherokee, is said to have given it as a shamanic device to help Moss "face herself without fear."

So let me get this straight....he gave a mirror, to a MODEL. Wait, let it sink in, he gave a Mirror....TO A MODEL! Oh yeah, THATS gonna change her outlook since she's probably never seen one before.

Best Halloween Headline ever?!

This just might be the best Headline all year...

Suicide Mistaken for Halloween Decoration

The apparent suicide of a woman found hanging from a tree went unreported for hours because passers-by thought the body was a Halloween decoration, authorities said.
The 42-year-old woman used rope to hang herself across the street from some homes on a moderately busy road late Tuesday or early Wednesday, state police said.
The body, suspended about 15 feet above the ground, could be easily seen from passing vehicles.
State police spokesman Cpl. Jeff Oldham and neighbors said people noticed the body at breakfast time Wednesday but dismissed it as a holiday prank. Authorities were called to the scene more than three hours later.
"They thought it was a Halloween decoration," Fay Glanden, wife of Mayor William Glanden, told The (Wilmington) News Journal.
"It looked like something somebody would have rigged up," she said.

How bad is it that I find this hilarious?

Michael Jackson will gladly pay you on Tuesday.

At long last, it seems as though Michael Jackson is conceding defeat. Sources say that his 2,700 acre ranch, Neverland, in Los Olivos, Calif., is going up for sale.
And it’s not a minute too soon. Sources say that Jackson missed the most recent payroll, which was due two weeks ago today. Jackson finally paid his staff on the following Monday. But the remaining staff will likely not be paid today.
"Everyone is pissed," says a staffer. "It was one thing when this happened during the trial, but now is a different story."
In May and June, Jackson missed payroll several times, and staffers conducted a work stoppage.
certainly Jackson has other legal problems facing him in the United States, including a $48 million breach of contract suit, a pending action involving mediation in a past suit, another civil suit involving child molestation and Marc Schaffel’s $4 million suit over money he says Jackson owes him.
Selling Neverland will be complicated by liens on the property. Fortress Investments inherited an $18 million lien that is attached to the $70 million loan against Jackson’s Mijac Music Publishing.
That’s separate from the $200 million loan Fortress holds on Michael’s interest in Sony/ATV Music Publishing, aka the Beatles catalog.

Better be careful Michael, you need to keep enough money in the bank to pay off the families of the next few kids you decide to molest. I'm not saying that Michael Jackson molests kids...I'm just saying that he appears as if he would smell like bubble gum and Vaseline.

Bush says No More Cronyism!!

Harriet Miers withdrew her nomination to be a Supreme Court justice Thursday in the face of stiff opposition and mounting criticism about her qualifications.
President Bush said he reluctantly accepted her decision to withdraw, after weeks of insisting that he did not want her to step down. He blamed her withdrawal on calls in the Senate for the release of internal White House documents that the administration has insisted were protected by executive privilege.
"It is clear that senators would not be satisfied until they gained access to internal documents concerning advice provided during her tenure at the White House _ disclosures that would undermine a president's ability to receive candid counsel," Bush said. "Harriet Miers' decision demonstrates her deep respect for this essential aspect of the constitutional separation of powers _ and confirms my deep respect and admiration for her."
Miers' surprise withdrawal stunned Washington on a day when the capital was awaiting news on another front _ the possible indictment of senior White House aides in the CIA leak case.

To deflect possible future critism that his picks for high powered positions are always cronys who's biggest qualification are their relationship with the President, Bush has said that his next nomination to the High court will be either his wife Laura or Karl Rove.

Please ignore the naked man in the backseat

Cops busted Star Jones' husband for driving with a suspended license in Manhattan yesterday morning.
Banker Al Reynolds was driving north on Third Ave. when he changed lanes without signaling and was pulled over by cops around 71st St.
Police soon realized Reynolds was driving with a suspended license. He was arrested at about 2:48 a.m. yesterday and given a desk appearance ticket at Manhattan's 19th Precinct stationhouse, sources said.
Reynolds used his one phone call to give a shoutout to Star at their E. 90th St. home.
The two were married in 2004 at a star-studded Park Ave. bash that drew notables from Spike Lee to Sen. Hillary Clinton.

It was also not reported whether or not Mr. Star Jones had been at a gay-bar that night, or whether or not there were several naked froliking men picked up in a gay bar in the back of his car and he was on his way to a hotel for after hours fun. I'm not saying that the happily married Reynolds is gay....I'm just thinking out loud.

Baby Contest, Which famous model's baby is Uglier?

Ok Ok I know, only a son of a bitch would have a contest asking which famous model has the ugliest baby, but since I have embraced that side of my personality leave your bitching at home and just vote. Besides, don't all these models always bullshit us and tell us they were so ugly as children before growing up to look like the result of a eugenics experiment? Well now they can prove it. Christie Brinkley's daughter was ugly 18 years ago as a link further down will show you...and I'll include a link to what she looks like now to see if ugly baby really will grow up to be Pretty Woman.
Now VOTE, which model had the ugliest baby? Current Bombshell Heidi Klum? Or Seventies Milf Christie Brinkley?
Heidi Klum and her spawn
http://www.supload.com/free/Heidi%20Klum,%20Seal,%20Leni%20and%20newborn%20Henry9.jpg/view/

Or Christie Brinkley 18 years ago and the large headed Alexa Ray?
http://www.oldlifemagazines.com/mag.php?d=020187

And a link to Alexa Ray a few years later..uh oh, not looking good so far, but heck, with Cristie Brinkley as a mom how bad could it be?
http://www.bambootrading.com/milk/1706.jpg

Here is a link to what Alexa Ray looks like today. With millions of dollars and a team of hair and make-up folks.
http://galleries.news24.com/celebs/celebs02/images/20.jpg

Ooops, sorry Christie guess she took after daddy,seems all those stories about how ugly girls grow up to be models just ain't true. Ouch!

Book of Records names Worlds Biggest Dog, Tara Reid Shows up for Photo Op.

A 3-year-old Great Dane in Sacramento, Calif., has been named the world's tallest dog by Guinness Book of World Records.
The award-winning dog, named Gibson, stands 7 feet tall when upright, according to the report.
He was officially named the planet's tallest dog Tuesday by officials with Guinness who flew to California from England to see Gibson.

The Great Dane's Publicst has put out a plea to Tara Reid to stop calling and asking for the number of the hotel room where "Biscuit" is staying saying the dog is already busy with a bitch and doesn't need a drunk one. The Publicist then confirmed that just listening to Miss Reids Voice-mail had given him a nasty cold sore.

Paris finds new and ear splitting way to hate Nichole

Hat tip to the Superficial Boys who wrote the following about our favorite slutty, dirty, syphlitic heiress.

You probably already know that some monkey in a business suit gave Paris Hilton a record deal, and it probably took a night of binge drinking to finally get past it. But you're gonna have to crack out the schnapps all over again, because there's more. On her album, she's including a track that insiders say is a shrill, childish attack at Nicole Richie. In it, Paris sings about how Nicole would never be famous without her, and may or may not repeat the word 'bitch' a few dozen times.
What is it about being bitchy, slutty, and dangerously close to the legal definition of retarded that gets these girls movie roles and goddamn record deals? Is that all the talent you need to become a star these days? Because I don't see Glenn Close showing all her friends a Meryl Streep sex tape, and then Meryl Streep recording a song about how much 102 Dalmatians sucked. Then again, maybe that's just the difference between legitimate fame and syphilis.

Check out the photo of Condoleezza Rice that was published by USA Today last week:

Notice anything peculiar about her eyes?
No, Condi isn't possessed; the photo was manipulated.

This news comes courtesy of From The Pen, which found a pre-doctored version of the Associated Press photo on Yahoo! España:

You would think that if they were going to do that at USA today they would have a softer touch.

Thats the problem with Photos coming back to haunt you.

Big Hat Tip to the Superficial Boys for tracking down this photo!

(Funny, they look like they are aquainted)
Paris Hilton insists she didn’t do the deed with Tom Sizemore — despite what he says.
The “Saving Private Ryan” star makes the claim during an interview that has been added to footage of him having sex that has been available on the internet. It is going on sale in DVD form today for $24.95 as “’The Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal” DVD.
According to Sizemore, he had a party at his house and after everyone else had left, he heard the repeated clicks of a cigarette lighter and followed the sound to his gym, where he saw Hilton, and suggested rather explicitly that the two should have sex.
“She knew what she could do to people,” says Sizemore, who claims that the next morning, Hilton climbed into a limo with the parting words, “Goin’ to Sundance. See you next week.” He makes no claims that they got together again.
Hilton says no such thing happened. “It’s disappointing that Mr. Sizemore has to use my name to sell his DVDs,” she told The Scoop in a statement issued through her spokesman. “He is not an acquaintance of mine nor have I ever had intimate relations with him.”
See Paris, before you deny knowing somebody you probably should make sure that they didn't save the pictures. Click on this link below.
http://www.thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/archives/Hilton_and_Sizemore_1.jpg

Thought for the Week

Hat tip to Thomas Sowell

"Peace" movements are not judged by the empirical test of how often they actually produce peace or how often their disarmament tempts an aggressor into war. It is not an empirical question. It is an article of faith and a badge of identity.
Yasser Arafat was awarded the Nobel Prize for peace -- not for actually producing peace but for being part of what was called "the peace process," based on fashionable notions that were common bonds among members of what are called "peace movements."
Meanwhile, nobody suggested awarding a Nobel Prize for peace to Ronald Reagan, just because he brought the nuclear dangers of a decades-long cold war to an end. He did it the opposite way from how members of "peace movements" thought it should be done.
Reagan beefed up the military and entered into an "arms race" that he knew would bankrupt the Soviet Union if they didn't back off, even though arms races are anathema to members of "peace movements." The fact that events proved him right was no excuse as far as members of "peace movements" were concerned. As far as they were concerned, he was not one of Us. He was one of Them.

Oh, and Miss Lopez...One more thing

All JENNIFER LOPEZ apparently really wants is an Oscar. I hear the bombshell from the Bronx has been telling friends that her main priority right now is to win an Academy Award®. And to do so she may even consider changing the make-up of the current team that's guiding her career. "She keeps saying, 'I don't want anything else but an Oscar,'" a source tells me. One bigwig has advised her to separate herself a bit from some of her mass-market business endeavors if she ever wants to be taken seriously as an Oscar-caliber actress, my source says.

Ok, So On Todays List:

1. Find a new PR team
2. Distance self from mass-market business
3. Learn to Act

I LOVE Hollywood Hypocricy

PISTOL-packing Joe Mantegna is blasting a chink in the politically correct armor of some Hollywood heavyweights — he says they love to own and shoot guns.
The "Joan of Arcadia" star says that such left-leaning showbiz types as Steven Spielberg, Leonardo DiCaprio and playwright David Mamet are all avid shooters.
"Lots of guys in Hollywood love to shoot," Mantegna, a longtime gun sportsman, tells Fade In magazine. "But they ain't gonna talk to you."
"Apocalypse Now" screenwriter John Milius agrees. "It's fascinating that Hollywood is so hypocritical," he says. "Many people own [guns], but consistently vote against them and never talk about them. I used to shoot with Spielberg and [Robert] Zemeckis and Robert Stack. But no one else would admit they had any."
Producer/manager Jay Bernstein, who shepherded Farrah Fawcett and Linda Evans to fame, carries a gun in public and is prone to flashing it at Hollywood parties. But even he won't confirm that he has a Carry Concealed Weapons permit.
"It's one of the most uncomfortable subjects," Bernstein says, "because 'anti-gun' is more popular than 'gun' in Los Angeles."
As if to illustrate Bernstein's point, well-known gun enthusiasts Ben Affleck, Charlie Sheen, Tom Selleck and Steven Seagal wanted nothing to do with Fade In's story.

Even gung-ho action director Richard Donner ("Lethal Weapon"), who has a concealed weapon permit, was reluctant to talk. "I am anything but a gun enthusiast," he said in a terse statement. "The only reason I would ever own a gun is for the protection of my home, my environment or my family under the circumstances in which I am forced to live."
Fade In says Seagal, Sylvester Stallone, music mogul Tommy Mottola and billionaire Kirk Kerkorian are among a mere 500 people licensed to carry a gun in public in Los Angeles County (pop. 9.8 million).
Meanwhile, those who can legally pack heat in New York include Donald Trump, Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, Seagram owner Edgar Bronfman, Howard Stern, Don Imus, State Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno, Bronx Supreme court judge Richard L. Price and defense lawyer Barry Slotnick.

Gee, a bit like Rosie O'Donnell badmouthing stores that sell guns, only to have her bodyguards instructed to carry guns as they were dropping her kids off at nursurey school, Or all of the Malibu elitists like Barbara Streisand and David Geffen, even though fully away that Malibu is a public beach, suing for more than 10 years to try to keep the public off the beach. Gotta love people that claim to love humanity....but hate humans.

Lie Down with Dogs, wake up with Fleas

The Ku Klux Klan plans to rally in Austin to support the anti-gay marriage amendment set for the Nov. 8 ballot.

The rally planned on the steps of city hall the Saturday before the election will urge voters to favor proposition 2.
However, some who support proposition 2 don't welcome the KKK's assistance.
One such person is Pastor Ryan Rush of Bannockburn Baptist Church.
Rush said that a group that would come in that is characterized as hateful and bigoted is not welcome in this city. He said he doesn't want the Klan as a partner on any cause.
In a letter the Klan sent to the city, the group acknowledged that security will be an issue, noting the violence that erupted at a KKK rally and march to the capitol in Austin in 1983.

Too Much Irony in this story

Madonna, Channeling her inner Phoebe?

Heres a Website that compares Madonnas actual comback with the Character of Valerie Cherish played by Lisa Kudrow in her now Thankfully cancelled HBO series "The Comeback" I won't go into how smug an irritating this show was, but if you want to know my opnion go to Jumptheshark.com and read the comments about "The Comeback, I can assure you that one of them is mine.

http://www.queerty.com/queer/madonna/madonnas-comeback-20051025.php

Hat tip to J.L. for the Website!

Star of Law and Order Criminal Intent takes on Sexual harrassment policy

According to the Daily News in New York, Quirky actor Vincent D'Onofrio, star of "Law and Order: Criminal Intent," is again drawing attention to himself.
At a recent mandatory NBC Universal workplace harassment seminar for the show's cast and crew, the bachelor D'Onofrio, 46, argued with the network lawyer conducting the proceedings until the class finally had to be cut short.
The trouble began when the lawyer presented a hypothetical scenario - involving a costume assistant stumbling on a male actor looking at hard-core porn in his trailer - and asked if that constituted sexual harassment.
"Why is it always a male actor?" D'Onofrio interjected bitterly, according to a Lowdown spy. "This policy is unfair! It's a matter of subjectivity, pitting one person's idea of what's acceptable against another's."
He continued: "When you ask actors to do a provocative show with provocative material, they might need to study up on risqué things - looking at a porn site to understand the character better. The policy discriminates against the artists, who might be doing things in the interest of their art."
As the lawyer grew frazzled, D'Onofrio continued to berate him, even drawing scattered applause at one point.

I always THOUGHT Janet and Michael Jackson looked similar

Janet Jackson and James DeBarge, who were briefly married in 1984, had a daughter together, DeBarge's brother Young DeBarge has claimed on a radio program.
Young DeBarge said the child, named Renee and now 18, has been living with Rebbie Jackson, Janet's oldest sister. His comments lent support to reports that have circulated for years claiming Janet has a "secret" daughter.

That would explain Janets hips back then.

George Galloway, No really, I wasn't paid by Saddam

British Govt. Official George Galloway, who loudly opposed the invasion of Iraq.
Mr. Galloway has strongly refuted new allegations that he pocketed money from Saddam Hussein's scandal ridden oil-for-food programme and lied about it under oath.The US Senate committee investigating the Respect MP's alleged involvement in the saga claims to have discovered £85,000 (150,000 dollars) in Iraqi oil money in his wife's bank account.

Uh, Gee, no really, I wasn't paid off by Saddam, in spite of earlier evidence from the new Iraqi Govt. showing that he had been paid several times by Hussein's govt in return for opposing the war back home in Britain.

Nice to know that Politicians in Britain are so honest.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LOOK AT ME!!!!!

Cindy Sheehan, the military mother who made her son's death in Iraq a rallying point for the anti-war movement and the person more desperate to maintain her 15 min. of fame than all reality show contestants combined, plans to tie herself to the White House fence to protest the milestone of 2,000 U.S. military deaths in Iraq.
"I'm going to go to Washington, D.C. and I'm going to give a speech at the White House, and after I do, I'm going to tie myself to the fence and refuse to leave until they agree to bring our troops home," Sheehan said in a telephone interview last week as the milestone approached.

I'd say she is deluded but it's even worse, she knows exactly what she is doing and how futile it was. One only has to see the big smile on her face as she was being arrested last month to know that this is one woman who just wants any kind of attention she can get. My guess is, if she was a few years younger she'd be calling Hugh Hefner to try to get a cover shot in the latest Playboy.

Paris says, You are Ugly, Jealous, and oh yeah, annorexic too!

ONE of the most downloaded video clips on the Internet shows Paris Hilton getting out of a limo, talking on her cellphone, describing an unknown party as "just so ugly and jealous." Paris then listens for a few seconds and says, "She's a jealous, ugly, anorexic idiot." Best guess as to whom she's talking about so far is Mary-Kate Olsen. Paris has been spotted out with the tiny twin's ex,

Hmm, that may explain why Paris and Nicole are no longer friends. Paris doesn't like annorexics.

Mrs. Paul McCartney, gets a leg up on J-Lo

The following courtesy of Billy Masters.
Often you hear people say that they lost an arm and a leg….well Heather McCartney, Paul’s wife, is not in such dire straights, at least she still has the arm.

A couple of weeks ago Mrs. Paul McCartney stormed Jennifer Lopez’z office to give her a DVD showing how animals are killed for their skins. Somehow in the scuffle with security Heather lost her prosthetic leg. When she called Jenny’s office to inquire if anybody had found it apparently the person on the other end asked her to describe it.

Sounds like the folks at J-Lo’s Sweetface are hiring some top notch receptionists.

Just a quick opinion here…I get the feeling that showing Jennifer Lopez video of animals being killed for their skins may not have an effect. J-Lo seems like the kinda of gal that, if she needed leather shoes in just the right shade before an even, would kill her best friend, skin her, and one hour later would be complaining that the gift bags at the event didn’t include a free manicure to clean the blood off her nails….don’t know the girl, but I’m just saying, don’t get in between her and well….anything.

Ann Rice, Got Jesus?

Anne Rice has found God - and her legion of devoted fans will have to get used to life without her blood-soaked vampire novels.
The best-selling queen of Gothic fiction told Newsweek her upcoming book, and all future works, will be written in the voice of Jesus Christ.
"I promised that from now on I would write only for the Lord," Rice, who has sold 136 million copies of her 25 books, told Newsweek.
Rice's long-awaited book is titled "Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt" and is about the 7-year-old Jesus, narrated by Christ himself.
Rice, 65, who returned to the Catholic Church after a life-threatening medical scare, now plans to write three sequels about the life of Christ.
She knows it might not go over big with fans who ate up her chronicles of witches, warlocks and soft-core S&M encounters.
"I've told them, 'You may not want what I'm doing next,'" Rice said.
But Rice insists the gore-soaked evil-doers that populate her previous novels like "Interview with a Vampire" only reflected her own longstanding spiritual unease. "I mean, I was in despair," she says.
In the end, she predicts readers may find more of what they are looking for in Jesus than Dracula.
Christ is "the ultimate supernatural hero," she writes in the new book's afterword. "The ultimate immortal of them all."

Her new book starts with a 7 year old Jesus angry because Mary insists on walking him all the way to school and not stopping a block away and letting him finish the walk by himself like a big boy.
Miss Rice finished the interview by handing knocking on the reporters next door neighbor's door, handing the owners of the house some pamphlets and asking if they had accepted Jesus as their personal savior.

Gee, can't wait for this CD.

The world holds it's breath as yet another fading celebrity starts a band...

Let's say by age 30 you're already 12 years removed from an Oscar-nominated performance in a major movie, have been married and divorced, dated Brad Pitt, kicked drugs and found Scientology. What, then, can you possibly do for an encore?
If you're Juliette Lewis, you start a band.

We here at Steaming pile of Spin would like to wish Julliet Lewis luck with her band, and hope that she is at least as successful as Keanu Reeves and his band "Dogstar" or Russle Crowe and his band "30 odd foot of grunts" or Cory Feldman and his band, and Tina Yothers and her band, both of which we've forgotten the names of, and we're pretty sure that Cory and Tina can't remember them either. Anyway, Good Luck Juliette, wake us up when you sell your first million.

Our Saucy NY Correspondent with a Saucy Story

Steaming Pile of Spin has it's tentacles all over the world, here is one from our eye in NY. We'll call her something that won't reveal her true identity, but will still represent her entire being....I would just call her Love Goddess but she has that pesky brain that keeps getting in the way of completely objectifying her....siiiigh, ok, for now we'll just call her "L" (Which really means Love Goddess). Anyway, what kind of story would you expect from LG? Uh, I mean L? Here you go.

The latest Victoria's Secret stink-up: Lusty mannequinsMaybe some things should remain a secret. Lingerie-seller Victoria’s Secret is under fire for its new line of window displays called Backstage Sexy, which have stirred protests at stores in Tyson’s Corner, Va., and Wauwatosa, Wis. But it’s not the lingerie that’s the issue (we might say for once). It’s the positions in which scantily-clad mannequins have been placed. “People are saying it’s all about the panties and the bras. It’s about inappropriate displays,” says Andrea Lafferty, executive director of the Washington, D.C.-based Traditional Values Coalition. Lafferty, who organized a protest against the Tyson’s Corner store, tells Media Life that the displays are so, well, explicit that it's upsetting even usually permissive-minded Washingtonians. “D.C. is a very political city, and even liberal Democrats were upset about this,” she says. “I actually got a call from a liberal person saying I had to do something about this.” Lafferty says one part of the offending display is of two female mannequins, obvious lesbians, sharing a bed. “One woman was sort of lunging sexually toward another woman,” she says. Apparently the store, reacting to protests, moved the mannequins to appear less on the make, as it were. But Lafferty says it's not enough. She has had no luck getting through to the management of Victoria's Secret, nor has Media Life, which has been attempting to gauge the extent of the protests and the chain's response to them. Lafferty worries that Victoria's Secret has lost all sense of decency and imagines even more outrageous schemes as the holidays approach. “When kids are visiting Santa, are they going to give free lap dances to dad at Christmas time? Are they going to have live sex acts in the window? How far is this going to go?”
Hey, they think THATS bad. Remember Britanny Spears and Christina Aguilerra used to be in the Mickey Mouse club. I'm betting if you reviewed those tapes you'd see some budding whorishness sprouting right under Disney's Nose. The infamous Girl/Girl/Mouse kiss between Christina, Britanny and Mickey unfortunatly didn't make the blooper real on the DVD.

Well, lack of food can make you Cranky I guess

Victoria Beckham spiced up Wednesday night's Rock & Republic fashion show in L.A. when she reportedly screamed at designer Michael Ball before being dragged away by security.
Lowdown in New York reported that soccer god David Beckham's wife, the former Posh Spice - who designed a jean collection for the celeb-studded event - threw a backstage tantrum when Ball informed her that her signature pants, with a crown embroidered on the arse, were out of the show.
"Are you gonna put it in? You're gonna put it in!" she screamed at Ball, according to a Lowdown spy.
"No, I'm not!" he shouted back.
"I don't know why I'm even asking you," she shrieked. "I'm a part-owner in this company!" Says the spy: "He finally called security, and they escorted her out."

Ouch! You own part of the company and still can't get what you want? Sounds like the fashion designing career is going about as well as that singing comeback.

Queen of all Lesbians?

ALL hail Queen Latifah (Dana Andrews) — especially if you happen to be a stripper! The rapper/actress and her posse enjoyed lots of lap dances at Scores early yesterday in the topless temple's famed Champagne Room. "She is so nice," a buxom, red-headed dancer named Logan told Page Six. "She treated me like a friend. It's great when someone who you are a fan of turns out to be a good person." Latifah — who has visited Scores several times in recent weeks — drank only mineral water, even after a high-rolling customer sent a magnum of Cristal to her table.

Hmm, Something you wanna tell us Dana?

First Reviews are in on Sen. Barbara Boxers New Novel

The New York Times questioned Mrs. Boxer's portrayal of Republicans as "snakes" and Democrats as "saints" in her new book, which chronicles the adventures of a liberal woman who assumes her husband's Senate seat after he is killed, then tries to foil the nomination of a conservative woman to the Supreme Court.

"Suffice it to say, this effort reads more like a cross between a bad romance novel and a soap opera script. The Congressional Record might be more entertaining. And it's free," noted the Sacramento Bee, which obtained an uncorrected proof of the novel last month but was prohibited from quoting directly from it.

OUCH! I hope th Sacramento Bee never decides to review this blog!

Cindy Sheehan says Hillary Clinton = Rush Limbaugh

Cindy Sheehan, the so-called "peace mom" on a crusade to end U.S. involvement in the Iraq war, is publicly blasting Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., for her continued support of the ongoing conflict.

"That sounds like Rush Limbaugh to me," Sheehan said. "That doesn't sound like an opposition party leader speaking to me. What Sen. Clinton said after our meeting sounds exactly like the Republican Party talking points I heard from Senators Dole and McCain."

Just a quick thought on Cindy Sheehan, somebody this rabidly anti-anything didn't just BECOME that way, they were always that way, I doubt what happened to her son had much to do with her current opinion. It would be interesting to see the e-mails between her and her son. My guess, he joined the Military to rebel against her and she either wasn't speaking to him or berated him constantly for it. Sorry if that doesn't sound sypathetic but Democrat or Republican I think we're all a little tired of burned out 60's rejects looking to bring back the glory days of some B.O. filled concert where they showed how rebellious they were by not wearing a bra and rolling around in the mud with some hairfaced burnout while Jefferson Airplane sang "White Rabbit" I figure if the Rolling Stones are old enough to receive Social Security we can officially put the 60's to sleep.

I believe the word you are looking for is EWWWWWW!

An Enumclaw-area man who authorities say helped run a farm where people had sex with animals — and where a Seattle man died doing so with a horse — was charged with a misdemeanor yesterday.
Police began investigating James Tait, 54, and another man who lived at the rural Southeast King County farm after the Seattle man died of injuries suffered during intercourse with a horse in the summer, Enumclaw police said.

Hopefully nobody reading this story has a good enough imagination to have a mental picture of this incident. I'd apologize for the image if you do, but hey, I'm just the Spinguy.

The Farce Goes On!

NICK Lachey and Jessica Simpson may have just had a "romantic" Italian vacation on OK! magazine owner Richard Desmond's dime, but they continue to lead separate lives. Upon their return last Friday, Lachey ditched Simpson to party in Las Vegas, and "Jackass" star Bam Margera — who had a fling with Simpson earlier this year — confirmed to Us Weekly that she had left Lachey. More evidence the two have split? Simpson, who now lives with her assistant Cacee Cobb, is spending her third wedding anniversary alone, in Africa. Sources have told New York's PAGE SIX that Simpson, her dad, Joe, and Cobb will travel to Nairobi for Operation Smile — her pet charity that fixes cleft lips — for 10 days. The trio will have a safari elsewhere in Kenya — all without Lachey. A rep for Simpson says: "Operation Smile is an organization that is very special to Jessica, and she is looking forward to participating in more missions. Nick will be unable to join Jessica on the next trip because of work commitments in Los Angeles."
Please, somebody make it stop. There are so many entertainment magazines that are so desperate to have things to write about that we continually have to hear about people that shouldn't even be famous. Please, make it stop dammit! Jessica, lets see if you can steal Kevin Federline from Brittany, That should give you another 15 min.

Camryn Manheim, Keep the gays away!

OUT magazine narrowly avoided a smackdown from Hollywood heavyweight Camryn Manheim's lawyers earlier this month by deleting photos of Manheim's son, Milo Manheim, and dropping mentions that his super-secret father/sperm donor is male model Jeffrey Brezovar. Brezovar, who's on the cover of the November issue of Out hitting shelves next week, had given an interview naming himself as Milo's father, and there was a planned photo shoot of him and the 4-year-old child. At first Manheim, who starred in ABC's "The Practice," seemed fine with everything — even though the magazine planned to name Brezovar as her son's father. Then, a few weeks ago, Web site gossip Billy Masters of filth2go.com wrote that Milo's father was Brezovar, adding: "He and Camryn had been friends for years when she asked him to be a sperm donor, and he spends as much time as he can with his son. "He thought it would be great to be photographed with his son, and La Manheim agreed — and signed a release. After the shoot . . . she demanded that no photos of her son be published," Masters wrote. Another source told PAGE SIX in New York, "Camryn initially signed off on the photo shoot, but the closer it came to publication date . . . she suddenly freaked out and had her attorneys contact Out threatening a lawsuit if all references and pictures of Milo were not removed." Brezovar remains on the cover. But although the interview with him says that he provided the sperm for "a celebrity mom," it doesn't name Manheim or Milo. "Camryn is a huge supporter of the gay and lesbian community, but she wanted to shield Milo from any unwanted public scrutiny of having a 'Gay Dad,' " said the source.
So she is a supporter as long as there is no association connecting her to the gay community. So lets see, the fat girl likes her gay friends when she needs people to go out with who don't mind being around her. As soon as she talks one of them into getting her pregnant she suddenly isn't so interested in being associated with the community. I LOVE Hollywood Hypocrites. MUWAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Manheim was also said to be concerned because of "Jeffrey's relationship with Oprah Winfrey's interior designer Nate Berkus, Camryn is worried that Jeffrey's higher public profile is going to negatively impact Milo."
Hmm, a higher profile? Kind of like the high profile of having a Celebrity mother with a high profile TV show who famously admits to being artificially inseminated? Yeah, him dating Oprah Winfreys interior designer is MUCH more high profile than that Ms. Hypocrite.

Guess this virus doesn't exist in Ethiopia

When babies receive shots against diseases like polio and measles, their vaccinations may in the future include protection against getting fat, according to researchers.
Infection by certain pathogens triggers rapid increases in fatty tissue in animals, Nikhil Dhurnadha told the annual meeting of NAASO, the Obesity Society, in this western Canadian city.

At the same time, the discovery that many more obese people than normal-weight people have been exposed to a certain virus suggests a link between obesity and viral infection.

As somebody who has traveled to other countries I can tell you that in Russia and Latin America the fat people in the tour group were stared at the entire time by people in those countries. I find it hard to believe that this virus seems to exist only in America.

Sen. Kennedy, So good at saving Lives!

Sen. Ted Kennedy tried to rescue six fishermen caught by rising tides and crashing waves on the end of a Cape Cod breakwater Sunday.
Kennedy and his wife, Victoria, spotted the men from their oceanfront home in the Kennedy compound just after 11:15 a.m. and called the Hyannis Fire Department.
Then the 73-year-old senior senator from Massachusetts and a pal jumped into a small boat and tried to get close to the men, who had walked out along the rocks to the end of the breakwater but got stuck when their path of retreat was swamped by wind-lashed waves.

Hmm, too bad for Mary Jo Kopechne that he wasn't as good at saving people from drowning back in 1969.

SALVATION for women (And their Husbands) everywhere!

The first birth control pill designed to completely eliminate periods for one year is also proving to be an effective treatment for premenstrual syndrome (PMS).
The experimental low-dose combined contraceptive, which delivers estrogen and a progestin 365 days a year (with no pill-free interval), was found to be highly effective in stopping monthly periods and alleviating the emotional and physical symptoms linked to menstruation.
The new study released Monday was one of four evaluating the birth control pill Lybrel presented at the 61st annual meeting of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine in Montreal.

A special note for the married guys, we are checking to see whether it can be ground up and hidden in coffee.

Oh Nichole, we'll always have Paris.

Fox said last week it had canceled the reality show starring Hilton and Nicole Richie. The network said its midseason schedule didn't have a time slot for a fourth season of the show, prompting speculation the feuding ex-friends no longer proved compatible.
Hilton said she and Richie will continue working on "The Simple Life" because other networks want it.

No Paris, that was that OTHER show you did, but they'll probably only show it after 10pm.

Carfull Rocky, you might break a hip.

Sylvester Stallone has signed on to reprise his role as the boxing champ for a sixth installment in the once mighty franchise ROCKY.
The film, simply titled Rocky Balboa, was announced Monday by Columbia Pictures, Revolution Studios and original distributor MGM, which will team up to produce what a press release describes as a return to the style and grit of the 1976 franchise-launching original.
The story will pick up with the fictional prize fighter retired and a widower (no Adrian!), who, after resisting offers to return to the ring, reluctantly agrees to take on reigning world heavyweight champion Mason "The Line" Dixon.

Producers are reportedly talking with former heavyweight champion Roy Jones Jr. to take on the part of Dixon.
Rocky isn't the only muscle-bound hero Stallone is taking out of mothballs. He's also breaking out the bandana for a fourth turn as Rambo. Stallone will also write that screenplay.

Great, I can just see it now. "Hey Rambo, which Military Ready to eat meal do you want, the Chicken or the Steamed Prunes and Metamucil?"

Hmm, who would have thought that Courtney love was the normal one?

Madonna, The former Material Girl now believes "the beast is the modern world that we live in!" "The material world. The physical world. The world of illusion, that we think is real. We live for it, we're enslaved by it. And it will ultimately be our undoing,"

Madonna explains in her new documentary film, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A SECRET. In the movie, which will premiere at the Ziegfeld Theater in New York City on Tuesday, Madonna warns how people "are going to go to hell, if they don't turn from their wicked behavior." The singer, who is also promoting the upcoming release of her new music CD, declares: "Most priests are gay." "I refer to an entity called 'The Beast'. I feel I am describing the world that we live in right now. To me 'The Beast' is the modern world that we live in."

Ok Maddie, thats a good girl, did you finish all your juice? Good Girl! Now if you're really good we'll let you stay out of your cell long enough to watch Desperate Housewives.

Jessica Simpson, just like Billie Holliday, Patsy Cline, Stevie Nicks etc...

Jessica Simpson's forthcoming album, which she has described as a mix of Billie Holiday, Patsy Cline and Stevie Nicks has been bumped from its November release date to May or June of next year, says MTV.

Fans of Billie, Stevie and Patsy can all breath a HUGE sigh of relief. Hmm, isn't there a clock around here SOMEWHERE that can be used to proove her 15 min. are up?!?!?!?

Tom and Katie, Good Actors

Kaite Holmes who currently has no movies in production was recently on the set of her finace Tom Cruise's movie Mission Impossible 3. Here is a quote from somebody on the set.

They "looked almost like high school kids, unbelievably lovey-dovey," an eyewitness tells People of the buss stop. "She'd go up on the stage with him and they'd hug and kiss in front of everybody. It was pretty much before every single take. They just looked overjoyed."

So he's in his 40's, she is getting close to 30 and between every take she's running up and they are making out? Hmm, sure, they could have been overjoyed...
Or they were playing for the cameras

PETA = People who enjoy torturing animals?

WINTON, N.C. — The cats and dogs two PETA employees have been charged with killing and dumping in an Ahoskie garbage bin were killed by injections of pentobarbital, a barbiturate commonly used to put down animals, according to new warrants issued and served on Friday.
Additionally, the two employees were charged with three felony counts of obtaining property by false pretenses. The charges allege that they euthanized three cats from an Ahoskie veterinarian after promising to find the animals new homes, according to the new warrants.
PETA employees Andrew B. Cook, 24, of Virginia Beach, and Adria J. Hinkle, 27, of Norfolk, were served with warrants on 22 felony charges of animal cruelty and the three felony charges of obtaining property by false pretense in court on Friday.
A grand jury is expected to consider formal indictments Oct. 31, Assistant District Attorney Donnie Taylor said.

KAtie Holmes, Stay at Home Mom?

Katie Holmes seems to be channelling June Cleaver

The actress, who recently revealed she is carrying fiance
Tom Cruise''s baby, has pulled out of the
Dennis Quaiddrama Shame On You in order to focus on her pregnancy, People magazine reports.

How long have these two been together, and she is already a few months pregnent? Just a thought here.... which came first, the lab created baby or the relationship? (If of course the baby was created in a lab and not through the no doubt hot and heavy hetersexual sex that these two of course engage in whenever Tom isn't jumping on couches or Katie isn't having a lobotomy.

Kate Moss, handles her high?

While Moss is in rehab in Arizona following her exposure as a coke fiend, Her ex boyfriend and father of her child Lila Grace has been looking after the girl and is said to be seeking sole custody. He stands by his ex, though. "Kate has been hung out to dry," he declared. "People do not know what a caring and loving mother she is."

Well yeah sure, people are always in a good mood when they're smashed.

Boy George Pays for it

BOY George hired a male hustler who tried to rob him the morning the cross-dressing Culture Club singer was busted for cocaine possession, according to Page Six in NY.
George called 911 last Friday morning to report that his Centre Street apartment had been burglarized. However, when cops saw over 10 bags of what appeared to be Cocaine in the apt. he was arrested.
A source said that George called 911 after the hustler he'd ordered up demanded that he hand over all of the money in the house.
"George said no and that he was going to call the police," says our source. "The prostitute said, 'Go ahead and you'll go to jail.' So George freaked out because he was high, called the police, the prostitute left, and George got arrested."

Hear that ladies, he's single!

In Today's Boring News

Brad and Angelina, together?
Jennifer, is she doing ok?
Jessica Simpson and Nich Lachey, still together?

Who gives a shit?

Elton John Paparrazi Good for Kate Moss

Most celebs think of the paparazzi as a lower form of life, but
Elton John believes London's rabid Daily Mirror did Kate Moss a favor by forcing her to confront her drug habit. Sir Elton says photos of the supermodel snorting coke compelled her to seek help in rehab.
"The great thing about England is that the media will give you a very hard time," the Rocket Man told the same paper this week. "They won't let you get away with it."

Also happy are the Drag Queens who used to impersonate Moss, now instead of merely sucking in their cheeks and looking doe eyed they can jazz up the look by wearing little mirrors and viles of white powder around their neck. We called every homless shelter in town but Moss could not be reached for comment.

We wonder if Elton would be as forgiving if some reporters in the 90's had looked into rumors that while together with his current boyfriend other handsome young fellows in Atlanta were living in his house and providing...comfort when he was in town. But then again, thats just vicious gossip isn't it?

Not So Simple Life

Simple Life is dead and Burried, at least for now. Fox has pulled the plug on the reality TV show starring ex-pals Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. The network said it "did not see a place for 'The Simple Life' on our schedule this season." But a source tells the post that the real reason for the cancellation was Hilton and Richie's inability to end their feud.

Just a guess here, notice how the feud started once Nichole lost weight and started getting nice write up's? Sounds like the most dangerous place to be is between Paris Hilton and her publicity.

O.J. Looking for another killer

It's being reported that the son of O.J. Simpson lawyer has died. Brent Edward Shapiro, 24, died Monday afternoon. Sources say Brent attended a football game over the weekend and ingested some ecstasy at a party. His girlfriend found him unconscious and took him to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A.

Although there are reports that a drug overdose has been confirmed, others at the scene reported seeing a tall African American Male, carrying a heisman trophy, being followed by a shorter white male wearing a shirt that says "My name is Kato, please hire me", Fleeing the scene in a white Ford Bronco (Hybrid?)

Laura Bush Burns Harriet Miers' Bra?

Asked by NBC "Today Show" host Matt Lauer if sexism was behind the attacks on Miers, Mrs. Bush said: "That's possible. I think that's possible."
"I think people are not looking at her accomplishments. They're not realizing that she was the first elected woman to be the head of the Texas Bar Association, for instance. And all the other things. She was the first woman managing partner of a major law firm. She was the first woman hired by her law firm."
Mrs. Bush said her personal interaction with Miers left her very impressed.

I have one question for Mrs. Bush. Would a man with those same qualifications (Not counting being the first woman at her firm etc..) but a man with all of her other qualifications even be considered for a Supreme Court spot?
Picking somebody soley for being a woman is just as sexist as not picking them for the same reason. And if she isn't being picked for that reason, then what other reason is there to pick somebody that most agree is less qualified than hundreds of others? Cronyism? Nice to know the court is held in such high regard.

Jake Gyllenhall, Kinda gay?

Jake Gyllenhall talking about the new movie he is in where he plays Heath Ledger’s lover.

http://www.brokebackmountainmovie.com/

"But it's not about that for me. It's about how impossible love can be sometimes, and I can relate to that. As well as that, every man goes through a period of thinking they're attracted to another guy."

No Jake, only men who major in Drama in college go through that period.

Gee, the crazy lying drug addict is still a crazy lying drug addict..

October 11, 2005 -- JAYSON Blair is the N.Y. Times Liar Emeritus who fab ricated his own news stories and caused a scandal that saw not only himself but the papers head fired, told Cindy Adams at the time: "I did it because a front-page byline is like a drug high and you need to keep it up."
Jayson Blair's most recent job was as an editor at Phoenix Books. He was editing "The Karasik Conspiracy," Author Julie Chrystyn told Mrs. Adams:
"I thought I'd give Jayson a break. He'd phone bright and early. He seemed conscientious. I was impressed. Besides, this was fiction, which is something for which he clearly has a talent.
"Then one midnight the guy called. I felt something was off. He said he wanted to review my contract, to 'save' me. I said I have lawyers and agents; I'm in good hands, thanks. He persisted, and I dodged. He said, 'From now on, you have to run everything by me. You have to look out. I'll protect you.' He trashed people I was involved with, trashed whoever had been good to him and was giving him a chance. He became an angry young man.
"He was in North Carolina, I was in Arizona, and he wanted me to meet him in Texas. I said I wasn't ready. He said then he'd fly to me the next day. I said I'm on a 45-day deadline, this is a waste of time; I'd e-mail him and we'd meet later on. By now my head was spinning. He wanted to be my ghostwriter. I thought he was kidding. Then he said, 'Lie. Tell everyone you met with me.' "
Julie has not heard from him since, nor does she want to. The book, due this month, has had to be postponed. Its new pub date is January.

Hey Julie, here is an idea, the next time you hear about somebody who was fired from a newspaper for faking hundreds of stories, and also admits to being a cokehead, maybe you should think twice about hiring them.

Wait...um he meant what?! Thats not hot

Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis recently ended their relationship.
Latsis's friends are snickering over the Hilton's telling Us Weekly, "Paris says I can keep the engagement ring. He says I earned it."
One Latsis pal snipes: "How else did she earn it? With sex. Like a hooker. It's a diss and she didn't get it — no surprise."

Nice to know that strait Greek men can be bitchy too!

Unicef bombs the Smurfs in fund-raising campaign for ex-child soldiers

To help raise money to aide former child soldiers in Burundi, the Belgium arm of Unicef has created an add featuring the Smurf Villaige being annihilated by bomb dropping warplanes.

Not kidding, here is the link.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/10/08/wsmurf08.xml&sSheet=/news/2005/10/08/ixhome.html

When I first heard about an adult theamed cartoon featuring the Smurfs I figured it would have something to do with the ratio of 99 smurfs to 1 smurfette.

Do Others Love A good Trainwreck as much as me?

The Hilarious Billy Masters shares a secret shame with me....here is a cut from his latest column...
"I cannot believe that E! is canceling TARADISE. And I can't beieve no one else in my circle of friends watches the show. I am the first to admit that Tara Reid is a mess, but that's what makes Taradise riveting." He then compares her drinking and smoking and globetrotting to Patsy from Ab/Fab.

Glad you agree with me Billy! Apparently they kicked Tara out of Venice becuase she drank the Canals dry over the course of a weekend.

It's nice to see that my love of trash TV is shared by others on the West Coast. Un-cancelling the show is too late, but perhaps if we all wish really hard and clap our hands E! will reward us by releasing Taradise on DVD. And E! don't bother to do it unless you include the uncensored Blooper reel. Because if what showed up onscreen was the most put together Tara could be in front of the cameras I'm DYING to see what hit the cutting room floor!

Billy Joel to Whitney Houston...."Shut Up"

In his book detailing his life Billy Joel recounts an interesting time one night at the piano...
While on a cruise in the Caribbean years ago, Joel was playing the piano for three women who turned out to be Elle Macpherson, Whitney Houston and future wife Christie Brinkley. "Whitney was this annoying 16-year-old model who kept telling me, 'Let me sing,' " the book recounts. "I kept telling her to shut up."

Hmm, if Whitney listened to him then, maybe he could try the same thing now..I can just imagine the phone call.
"Hi Whitney? Billy Joel here...Don't Do Crack!"

Patty Hearst says...just get over it!

Patty Hearst has a message for folks who are worried about terrorist attacks: Stop wringing your hands, people!
"I was kidnapped by terrorists. It's not like I'm numb to this and think it can't happen. But get real!" Hearst admonished. "There's so much weeping and wailing and memorializing, my feeling is it'd be a lot healthier if people didn't externalize so much and kind of bucked up a little bit."

Ok Patty, so you were kidnapped and psychologically tortoured for months. Many people out there just don't think you understand how tramatic it is for somebody to wait 5 min for a Latte at Starbucks, or to have a joke told that offends them because they are vegitarians. What is your months of tortoure compared to having to wait in Traffic?!
Seriously, Good for Patty. But if people listened to her who would go on Oprah to whine?

Peta Creates New Fashion Craze.

Anna Wintour, editor in chief of Vogue magazine, was hit with a tofu pie by anti-fur demonstrators as she attended Paris fashion week.
Dan Mathews, vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, said the vegetarian tofu tart was retaliation for Vogue's decision to run fur ads while refusing to use PETA's anti-fur messages.

Trend Conscious fasion victims, which accounts for 75% of the audience at Fasion week, who missed the actual pie throwing incident saw the Vogue Editrix in the pie covered outfit and prompty smeared their own clothes with whatever patstries happened to be handy.

Susan Sarandon wants you to remember Tragedy

SUSAN SARANDON is urging the US news media to keep covering the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, because she fears Americans will quickly forget about the horrors of the August (05) storm.

I think Miss Sarandon doesn't give the American People enough credit for remembering horrors. After all, it's the good memory of the American people for such films as Stepmom and The Bangor sisters that has caused her carreer to sink down faster than Tara Reid in front of any director willing to give her work. I mean, she succeeded in making even Goldie Hawn irritating by association. That sin won't be easily forgiven.

Boy George May have to Resort to Homosexuality.

Boy George, the 1980s pop icon, was last night facing a possible 15-year jail term after he was charged with possessing cocaine in his New York apartment.
Friends said the former frontman of Culture Club, who was convicted of heroin possession in 1986, was protesting his innocence as he prepared to return to the UK last night. But he will have to return to New York in December to answer the charges.

The coke was discovered after Boy George (born George O'Dowd) called 911 to report a burglary at 3:14 a.m. Friday, police said. Cops arrived to find a woman and George "stoned out of his gourd," a source said, and 14 bags of cocaine lying on a table. George was charged with both drug possession and making a false report of a break-in.

Careful George, a man who loves women as much as you could get awefully lonely in prison.

Go Mariah! Flap those Crazy Lips!

MARIAH Carey has accused Eminem of having "issues" after the rapper claimed to have had an intimate relationship with her.
Mariah says: "I never had any type of sexual relationship with that man. Everyone's got issues and clearly he's got many.

Hmm, I guess Mariah forgot about all of those Messages she left on his voice-mail that he played to the audience during his tour. Additionally, he was doing that several months ago and she had no comment. Now, months later, when he has stopped touring and is back in the U.S. she tells a British paper that she never slept with him. Also, she addmitted later that she never really felt in Love with former hubby Tommy Matolla, I guess his being the head of her record company, getting her the record deal AND supplying her with the best songs had nothing to do with that. Add to that the fact that at the time of the alleged sex, her carreer was tanking and she was trying to get Em to do a duet with her...

But, you know, in spite of all that, I believe her. Because I mean look at Mariah, the innocent demure way she dresses tells me she would never have sex outside of marriage. .

Robert Blake, too sensitive for a murderer.

Robert Blake is now tesitifying in the civil trial brought by the relatives of his slain goldigger/wife, Bonnie Lee Bakely. Showing his sensitivity, He apparently saw a lot to love in Bonny Lee Bakley. She was smart. She was charming. And, best of all, she put out on the first date.

This was the actor's testimony Thursday as his wrongful-death civil trial continued in Burbank, California.
"There aren't many women who will simply sleep with you and get on the bus, if you know what I mean," Blake offered, per City News Service.

HA! And women say there aren't any nice single guys out there.

Movie Strangers with Candy release stalled

Apparently the movie version of "Strangers with Candy" is being delayed a bit. Reps for Warner Independent have said that the movie is off their release slate. They were recently hit with lawsuits over Other TV to movie projects and may just be skittish. We hear that the film, which won cheers from audiences at Sundance (although indie filmmakers snubbed it for being "too entertaining"), has other studios waiting in the wings.

Sidenote, you want to know one of the biggest problems with indie filmakers today? Reread that last part. Hey, People, not making entertaining movies is easy. I could make a movie staring the neighbors dog taking a crap in the yard. Is it edgy? Sure, Poo is ALWAYS edgy, is it entertaining? No, hmm, well seems to have all the requirements for an indi-film then. Idiots.

Hollywood PC over realism

It seems that Albert Brooks, hardly known as a conservative firebrand, lost the backing of SONY pictures in distributing his new movie "Looking for Comedy in the Muslim Workld" soley over the title.

According to reports SONY Ceo Michael Lynton wrote to Brooks about the movie stating, "Obviously it was funny but more than that it spoke to some very significant issues that we are all confronting today with a sense of humanity and irony . . . it would have been my pleasure and honor to be able to distribute the picture and I had no problem with either its content or marketing materials. Having said all that, I do have an issue with the title . . . recent incidents have dramatically changed the landscape that we live in and this, among other things, warrants changing the title of the movie"
This is the same type of ridiculous P.C. environment that caused them to change the terrorists in that Ben Aflec Disaster "Sum of All Fears" based on the Tom Clancy novel from Mid-eastern to Natzi's. I mean come on, Natzi's were bad and all, but they are not exactly a present day force to be reckoned with, unless you happen to be a minority in certain underpopulated areas of Eastern Bavaria where they will no doubt annoy you with their thrash-punk music. I'm not saying lets all portray all Middle Easterners as bad, hardly, however, not being realistic is in itself ALSO a form of censorship. This movie was seen by the CEO of SONY, who by all reports, loved it, and cancelled distribution merely because the title mentions the Muslim World. What is SONY afraid of? That by using the word "Muslim" in the title some people will suddenly sit up and say "Hey! Thats RIGHT! all the planes that hit the towers WERE hijacked by people who were muslim" I got news for SONY, we've already heard it, and what you've succeded in doing is denying distribution to a funny movie that not only doesn't offend muslims but was recently accepted by the Dubai Film festival in the United Arab Emirates, apparently the word Muslim isn't as offensive in Dubai as it is in the offices of SONY. Hey! Politically Correct AND Stupid, nice to see whos in charge of SONY.

Tom Cruise is Really Really Gay!

Is what somebody would say if they wanted to incure the wrath of his many agressive and stylishly dressed attorneys. So of course that will never be said by this blog. On a completely unrelated note. Tom has been married twice, once to Mimi Rogers, who although she is a bit older now, still is mostly a smoking hot ball of sex, just look at her Playboy spread if you don't believe me, and the second time to Nichole Kidman, different than Mimi, hot in the cool Ice Queen kind of way that usually means they are crazy in the bedroom. So he managed to never get either of those two pregnant. I'll come back to that in a min.

Katie Holmes dated Chris Klein for something like 4 or 5 years. During all that time she manages to not get pregnant.

So both Tom and Katie are very good at not getting people pregnant or not getting themselves pregnant. Yet, after polls show that up to 70% of people think their relationship is a phony publicity stunt Miss Holmes, who is busy planning a wedding and no doubt would normally want to look perfect in whatever skintight designer wedding dress she wears, turns up knocked up. I'm not saying that the baby was constructed in the same lab that created Michael Jacksons baby...I'd never say that, that would be mean. I also hope that their relationship is real, because if it isn't they are both much worse actors than I ever thought. There would be more chemistry between Ellen DeGenerous and Richard Simmons.

I've seen the gates of hell, and they are named Tara

Tara Reid is apparently very upset about the cancellation of her show "Taradise" basically for those of you not lucky enough to have seen this, I'll give a brief run down.

Tara, talking in a raspy voice nearly as deep as The God Zoool From the movie Ghostbusters, runs around europe getting wasted and trying to show you different fun things. She mostly fails. In the show about St. Tropez, instead of showing it as the playground of the rich and stylish, she and some friends are at some bar while Tara screams about it being "The Best Bar in St. Tropez" then they all shake up champagne and spray it on each other. At the same time her friend Paris Hilton leaves and the cameras catch her saying "I'm not going to stay her and get sprayed by a bunch of stupid people. This scene accomplished two things. First it made St. Tropex look like Panama City Florida during the first three days after spring break ends (Dirty, the few people left are the obnoxious drunks) AND it made Paris Hilton seem mature by comparison. My guess is that when an amature porn star famous for skimpy clothes, vapidness and partying looks like a class act next to you, you may be headed down the Courtney Love trail. There are other shows, usually involving Tara waking up and drinking, then going wine tasting, then drinking more before going out to a club and drinking. Or on the few occasions when they are at events and she is sober she usually is asking where she can get a cocktail. Please God, let them come out with a DVD, if the scenes that went in made her look like an out of control drunk I can only imagine what the Deleated scenes disc would have...

Ok, enough about the show, recently Tara spoke to Steppin Out magazine where she complained about the show being cancelled, how she is a nice person and that the gossip pages were mean and unfair. to prove that gossip pages are not mean and unfair Page Six in New York detailed that interview under this headline "TUBBY TARA IN FLIP-OUT MODE" God I love page six. If you want to check out their hatchet job have at it. http://www.nypost.com/seven/09302005/gossip/pagesix.htm

More on Tara, but my guess is that in the next ten years she is going to have something in common with this girl. http://poetry.rotten.com/spiral/

Ok,