Who was offereing?

Legendary performer LIZA MINNELLI has declared she is through with sex and just wants to find a partner who is kind and has some integrity. Minnelli split from fourth husband, producer DAVID GEST in 2003 and their divorce is still pending, so the singer insists she won't be racing back down the aisle anytime soon. She explains, "Look at my track record - I have good taste in friends and lousy taste in husbands." The 60-year-old, who has survived addiction problems and two hip replacements, is cautious when it comes to her love life She admits she's "seeing a couple of people" but insists, "I'm sick of sex! I don't give a rat's a**! I care about integrity and kindness." Although Minnelli admits to having some regrets over the years she adds, "They're not enough to slow me down. There's too much to look forward to."

Just one quick question, have you seen a recent picture? Who the hell was asking her to have sex?!

Unintentional Dark Humor

This old commercial from the 1970's is probably the best example of unintentional black comedy I have ever seen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArVcUZ1HgRQ&search=ayds

The following are comments from the American Idol Message Board

These comments were put up within a 30 min period.

The following are posts taken from American Idols official message board. These are just a few of the posts that were added one evening this week within the space of only a 30 minute time frame. During this short period of time, the fans said:
Oh, and by the way, these are comments from LAST YEAR, so anybody that thinks her behavior is a recent thing....just read!

*what is her deal this season? the slurring, the tackling and humping of simon, the remarks that don't seem to match the contestant. is she ill or what?
*Funny how AI hires a judge who can't lay off the bottle and knows nothing about singing. *What is with Paula? I am so tired of her. She looks wasted and slurs her words and is beginning not to make sense. Look like on meds. Everything is beautiful is her theme song. Everyone is just great. LA LA Land,
*I AM SO GLAD THAT SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! PAULA HAS BEEN REALLY LOOKING STONED LATELY (Although, I don't seriously believe that she is)!! SHE HAS BEEN REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES!!
*She seems Hung Over all Season so far............... just repeats whatever she hears Randy say regardless of her reactions to each contestant.............. Her juding ability as well as her comments at this point are Worthless!!
*Every week she's high. Last week on the performance night she looked drunk, now this week she looked like she has been taking pills and getting stoned. They need to test her and the results will get her kicked off the show.
*Yeah, what's with Paula this season? She's way out there. I'm very concerned.
*Am I the only one who thought something weird was up with Paula last night. Her actions and speech seemed a little.... off......
*We think Paula is on drugs or something!!
*PAULA PLEASE LAY OFF THE BOOZE/DRUGS ITS RUINING THE SHOW AND WHAT WE SEE OF YOU.
*Paula seems to be on something quite often...probably painkillers, though, not alcohol, although who knows. At least she's sweet and cute...if she wasn't it would be REALLY obnoxious.
*DID YOU SEE PAULA SLOWLY BLINKING AT THE ENDING OF THE SHOW WITH HER MOUTH OPEN? WHATS WRONG WITH HER?
*Tell me if I'm wrong but did it appear that Paula was under some influence last night, I just watched last night's performances again last night and she looked a little bit drunk or possibly high, tell me if no one else saw it.
*About Paula being drunk or something, the local radio station said the same thing this morning about her on last night show.
*Am I the only one that thinks this, but is Paula drunk most of the time?!?!? Watch her, she's pathetic! *Paula please get some help for your problem. You are great on the show when you are sober.

Paula, Here ya go, have another Vodka Cranberry, watching you is almost as pathetic as watching thos, "Wost Of" moments on American Idol, DO go on Rummy, just don't try to spill it on Simon, we actually want to hear what HE says.

Randy Quaid Gets a Broke Back....not that theres anything wrong with that.

Actor Randy Quaid filed suit yesterday, claiming he was cheated out of big bucks by the producers of "Brokeback Mountain."
The suit, filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, alleges producers of the award-winning flick falsely represented the project as "a low-budget, art house film, with no prospect of making any money" when they signed on Quaid, according to the celebrity-news Web site TMZ.com.
TMZ said the suit didn't specify how much Quaid was paid for appearing in the gay-cowboy movie, but it claims the producers "were engaged in a 'movie laundering' scheme designed to obtain the services of talent such as Randy Quaid on economically unfavorable art film terms."
The movie has grossed around $160 million so far, TMZ said. The suit seeks $10 million in damages and "restitution for all ill-gotten gains."
There was no immediate comment from the producers.

Hey Randy, you signed up for it, nobody thought a gay cowboy movie was going to hit big, deal with it. You'be been in Hollywood for years and years and you didn't think it was going to make money either. If you always knew what was going to happen in the future we would all have bought Microsoft Stock back in 1980 you douchebag.

Paula Abdul, Drunk as she wanna be

Paula Abdul just can't seem to distance herself from scandal.
Last season, an offscreen relationship with an "American Idol" contestant put her at the center of an internal investigation at Fox. This season, her behavior on live broadcasts of "Idol" is fueling constant unflattering speculation.
And fans have noticed.
"She did not seem to be 'with it' at all," wrote one viewer of Abdul at the realityTVworld.com message board yesterday. "Does she just not care about this competition anymore?"
"Her comments are getting less and less relevant as the show goes on," wrote another.
A few weeks ago, Abdul explained the elimination of two contestants this way: "Simon said because one of them ate pizza and the other ate salad."
Later in the show, her comments became even more esoteric.
"Simon gave me advice and said on [U.K. show] 'The X Factor' he always refers to a fortune cookie and says the moth who finds the melon finds the cornflake always finds the melon and one of you didn't pick the right fortune," she said.
Abdul's spokeswoman Michelle Bega called the speculation about Abdul's physical state on the show "lies and sensationalism." Bega said that constant battering on the message boards and speculation in the press is "harmful and hurtful to an individual such as Paula who is nothing but a lovely and talented woman who is just doing her job."
Sources close "Idol" yesterday dismissed an Us Weekly report that angry producers were looking to replace Abdul with Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson, and also nixed

Last year Paula claimed her behavior was because she was finally pain free after years of chronic back pain and she was "Just so excited about it" Now this year she is slurring, incohearent and all her publicist can come up with is..."Gee, those comments are mean" well I got news for you flacky, those comments aren't coming from the magazines, their coming from people watching the show and watching this drugged out incohearent mess of a woman week after week. Our personal favorite Paula-ism is the fact that she is so botoxed that noghint above her bottom lip moves anymore and her eye hangs half closed. I know you want to fight father time Paula, but ease up on the Paralox injections. Oh, and while you're at it, stop clapping like a 10 year old girl who has wet nails.

Routine?!

ABC daytime diva Star Jones was rushed to a Santa Monica, Calif., hospital last week with life-threatening complications that popped up after routine breast lift surgery.
The formerly queen-size co-host of "The View," who shed about 150 pounds in recent years, got life-saving treatment for blood loss at Saint John's Medical Center on Friday, according to magazine reports.
But a spokesman for the popular morning gab fest yesterday downplayed the severity of Jones' postsurgical trauma and said she was "fine" the next day.
"Star Jones is anemic, but she did NOT almost die," Karl Nilsson told the Daily News.
Jones was chipper enough on Saturday to gab with fellow co-host Barbara Walters on the phone, Nilsson said.
"She did not mention anything about blood transfusions or anything like that. Star was chatty and in phenomenal spirits and she was talking about looking forward to coming back to work," said Nilsson.
Jones was even out for a pleasure drive on L.A.'s Wilshire Blvd. yesterday, enjoying the sunshine, Nilsson said.
Jones' personal spokesman refused comment on a report in the National Enquirer that Jones "lost close to half of her own blood and was in serious danger of going into cardiac arrest."
But he confirmed that the 44-year-old had undergone plastic surgery. "Star Jones Reynolds had an elective breast lift procedure. She is recovering wonderfully," Brad Zeifman said.
The Enquirer reported that Jones' blood count dropped dangerously low a few hours after she had the breast hoistup operation in an undisclosed cosmetic surgery center.
"She was trembling and shaking uncontrollably," the tabloid quoted an insider as saying.
Medics called 911 and an ambulance whisked Jones to Saint John's ER, where she was treated with blood transfusions," the tabloid said. The same day Jones was hospitalized, her husband, Al Scales Reynolds, was rushed to a New York ER after he fell at a gym and suffered a head injury that required stitches, Zeifman said.

Routine Breast Life Surgery? They slice your skin and slide it up your body, yeah real routine there Star. Then again, it takes effort for a woman to stay sexually enticing to her gay husband.

Costner Giving a Helping Hand

Kevin Costner's camp is vigorously denying that the "Field of Dreams" star engaged in sexual self-gratification in front of a horrified masseuse at a posh Scottish golf resort.
This week, London's Daily Mirror reported an unnamed 34-year-old massage therapist's claim that an "American A-list actor" had "dropped his towel" and performed a "'disgusting' act in front of her."
The woman, who said the Old Course Hotel in St. Andrews, Scotland dismissed her after she complained about the incident, told a labor tribunal that the actor "kept putting his hand underneath his towel," and that, when she began to massage his head, he "grabbed her wrist forcefully, whipped off his towel [and] exposed himself," according to the Mirror. The paper reported that the masseuse had been tempted to tell the actor's wife, another massage client, of his alleged "abuse."
Gossip blogs, including Gawker.com, were quick to speculate that the actor was Costner. Gawker reported that the star is a friend of Herb Kohler, who owns the hotel. Costner and his wife Christine spent their honeymoon there in 2004.
But Costner's rep, Paul Bloch, told us: "We find it unfortunate that Mr. Costner's name has been brought into what is essentially a dispute between a company owned by a good friend of his and a former employee — and that it would tarnish what was a wonderful time spent at this resort with his wife."

Gee, a Hollywood star thinking he could get away with treating somebody else like a hooker? Nahhhh, couldn't happen.

Peter Pan Loses Neverland

Jacko Closes Neverland For Good
Michael Jackson has shut down his Neverland Ranch for good. Employees were summoned to the ranch Thursday at 5 p.m. PST in staggered groups, given back pay for 12 weeks through today, and were told the ranch had been shut down by the California Department of Labor.
In fact, Jackson made the decision to lay off more than 60 loyal staffers after making them wait through three months with no pay. Their health insurance ran out on February 28th. Last week, the State closed the ranch because Jackson carried no workmen's compensation.
Despite misleading statements from Jackson’s spokesperson Raymone Bain, I am told that Neverland is indeed closed except to Jackson’s family members and security staff.
Some of the employees of Neverland had been there with Jackson since he bought the place in the late 80s. A few actually had worked for the previous owner. They leave without pensions or the ability to apply for COBRA health insurance. All they can do now is apply for unemployment. My sources say many of them have already done that.

Gee, Sorry to hear that covering up for a child molester doesn't have a good retirement plan.

Martha, try your own medicine?

Martha Stewart still has it out for federal prosecutors who put her behind bars on conspiracy and obstruction-of-justice charges. Introducing "Conviction" star Stephanie March on her "Martha" show the other day, Stewart quipped that the crime drama star is "much better-looking than … the prosecutors that I have come in contact with."
Martha added, "I am watching in a hope that every prosecutor crashes and burns and loses every single conviction."

Ok Martha, heres an idea, next time somebody mugs you, breaks into your house, or steals your car the prosecutors will crash, burn, and lose those convictions...sound good?

You gotta love hypocricy

After 10 years on Comedy Central's foulmouthed, anti-establishment animated series "South Park," Isaac Hayes wants off because he finds the show's attacks on religion inappropriate.
Word is that Hayes was upset with an episode that aired in November, "Trapped in the Closet," that attacked Scientology, of which he's a follower. He asked the show to be released from his role as the sexually charged Chef.
"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry toward religious beliefs of others begins," Hayes said in a statement.
"As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices," he added. Hayes' reaction stumped some, because the show that spawned "South Park" included Santa and Jesus in a death match, and throughout the run the producers have skewered various religions and celebrities.
"This has nothing to do with intolerance and bigotry and everything to do with the fact that Isaac Hayes is a Scientologist and that we recently featured Scientology in an episode of 'South Park,' " Matt Stone, co-creator of 'South Park,' said in a statement. "In 10 years and over 150 episodes of 'South Park,' Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslims, Mormons and Jews. He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show. To bring the civil-rights struggle into this is just a non sequiter. Of course, we will release Isaac from his contract and we wish him well."

Goldie Hawn doesn't trust Women

Rarely has a female studio executive enjoyed more attention than Universal Pictures Chairwoman Stacey Snider got last week when Steven Spielberg wooed her into becoming DreamWorks' chief exec. But Goldie Hawn isn't impressed.
"Women have been absolutely no help, because they're working very hard to please the men that they're working for, and they are afraid to stand up for women," Hawn laments.
Goldie recalls when she, Diane Keaton and Bette Midler delivered Paramount's Sherry Lansing a hit with "The First Wives Club."
"It was a great success, but [Paramount] didn't want to do a sequel," the 60-year-old Hawn recalls in the AARP magazine. "Diane called me and said, 'We've got to do this.' … I got a call from the head of the studio, who said, 'Let's try to make it work. But I think we should all do it for the same amount of money.'
Now, if there were three men that came back to do a sequel, they would have paid them three times their salary at least. ... Then it was reported to me by my agent that the head of the studio said, 'Isn't Goldie getting a little greedy?' And she was a female, so in terms of women helping women, this was really a kick in the butt."
Hawn says studios paid attention to her latest project - a comedy called "Ashes to Ashes," which she wrote and hopes to direct - only after her longtime love Kurt Russell became involved.: "The studio reaction always was, 'Who's the man?' ... You can't win."

Paris Hilton might have Herpes....Herpes said to be afraid.

PAris Hilton was recently slapped with a restraining order, here is a report on the text of that order.

In September 2004, [event producer Brian] Quintana said he became friends with Stavros Niarchos, and later became his "PR rep." He introduced Niarchos to Hilton, and they started dating.
Quintana, 37, testified his relationship with Hilton changed in November when "Paris accused me of planting unfavorable stories toward her in the press."
Hilton shoved him in the chest, he said.

Quintana testified that Hilton interrupted a conversation he was having with Niarchos -- initially out of her earshot -- about a call he had received from the tabloid Star Magazine.
"I wanted to make sure that he was aware that she might have herpes," Quintana said on the stand. Outside of court, Quintana's attorney Richard Sherman said they had no specific knowledge about any medical condition Hilton may have.
Quintana testified that if a story had been published, Hilton would have threatened him. In December, Quintana said he got a phone call from Hilton, who was in Hawaii. She allegedly said, "I'm going to put a contract out on you."

Frankly I'd be suprised if she ONLY had Herpes. Poor Herpes.

Will Steve O go to Jail?

News out of Ca.
Court says urinating in public is illegal under California law
03/08/06
San Francisco (BCN) - A state appeals court in San Francisco ruled today that urinating in public is a crime under California law.
The Court of Appeal made the ruling in the case of David McDonald, who was arrested by a police officer for urinating in a restaurant parking lot in Berkeley on the morning of Jan. 26, 2003.

Ok, well then what will happen to Steve O, for doing this at the Oscars?

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/03/07/steveo_yellows_red_carpet.html

Yeah, I know the first think going on in your mind is...."How the F did Steve O get a ticket to the Oscars?!"

Star Jones...Fag Hag

Star Jones looked none too comfortable when Meredith Vieira mentioned a New York Times article about women who are married to gay men.
"Would you know if you had married a gay man?" Vieiera asked her chat sisters. "And is it then okay to still sleep with him, even though he may be carrying on an affair?"
Star has roundly denounced rumormongers who've bruited that her husband, Al Reynolds, has a gay past. She kept her thoughts to herself on air. But chances are Meredith heard from her during the break.

You know how I know Star Jones Husband is Gay? Because he's married to Star Jones.

Paris Hilton is a Porn Star

Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Heather Graham, Lara Flynn Boyle, and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen piled into the bash that L.A. club queen Amanda Scheer-Demme and New York club queen Amy Sacco hosted at Teddy's Lounge in the Roosevelt Hotel.
Lindsay, who had a frosty face-off with Mischa Barton the other night at the General Motors fashion/auto show, showed only slightly more warmth toward Paris when the hotel heiress sauntered in. That may have had something to do with Lindsay's sitting next to Mary-Kate, who has made no secret of her disdain for Paris after the way Hilton appropriated Olsen's shipping-heir boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos.
Unfazed by the visual knives shot over from the Olsen table, Paris quickly set about making herself the center of attention. She handed the deejay her new CD and told everybody, "It's my song! It's my song!" Soon enough she was on the dance floor with — get this — Rick Salomon and Brandon Davis. Davis, you may remember, is the oil heir who told the National Enquirer that Paris routinely used racist epithets in his presence. Salomon is the ex-boyfriend who humiliated Paris by selling their homemade sex tape. Their current friendliness makes you wonder about Paris' claim that she made no money off the tape.

Of COURSE she made money off the tape and anybody who thinks she didn't is an idiot. When a family like the Hiltons DOESN"T sue over something like that tape it's because Paris got some good advice....i.e. "Hey, it's out there already, you might as well cash in" No lawsuit = She got a payoff.