Next up on your Radio Dial! Boredom!!

HOWARD Stern is truly irreplaceable. Thirteen independent stations not owned and operated by Infinity Broadcasting have rejected the replacements lined up by Infinity for after Dec. 16, when the King of All Media, who was in 37 markets, leaves for subscriber-supported Sirius Satellite Radio. Infinity's own stations will air David Lee Roth in the East, Adam Carolla in the West and some guy named Rover in the Midwest. But the FMQB radio Web site reports that the independent stations that aired Stern's syndicated show in Las Vegas, Austin and Buffalo are going with other formats and that 10 other non-Infinity stations, including Seattle, St. Louis, Albany and Hartford, have yet to announce their post-Stern plans. "The incredibly profitable empire Howard built is being splintered, and the execs at Infinity can't keep it together," said an insider. A station manager told The Washington Post: "Stern's departure is the worst natural disaster to hit a media company in the decade . . . Even though he was only on four hours a day, many of the sponsors on his show were required to buy time through the rest of the day as a price for getting spots on the Stern show."

I bet that those execs at Infinity are kicking themselves for not litigating the new FCC guidelines. It would probably have cost them less than the money the Stern Show brought in in one week of ads.